Conclusion

I'm concluding this blog for many reasons...

1) It's too time consuming
2) It's too embarrassing
3) Even though it's embarrassing, it STILL wasn't making me change my eating habits
4) It JUST didn't work....

I still eat crap.

FACE IT:
I'm a stress/nervous/anxious/happy/sad/lonely/celebration/closeted EATER.
It's what I do.

Ironically, my eating/snacking/binging habits have lead me to CREATE all of the cupcake flavor creations at Retro.

I guess I could say: MY EATING HAS LEAD ME TO CREATE THE MOST DELICIOUS CUPCAKES ON THE PLANET.

Don'tcha just love it?

The internal conflict between good and evil...right and wrong...eating healthy and NOT eating healthy...it's keeping me in BUSINESS....

I'm starting to embrace it.

As long as I still do my Ten-Minute Trainer workouts EVERY DAY...we're ALL good.

I like ME more on buildingabakery.blogspot.com anyway...so, that's where I'll be.

BYE!

9/4/08 FOOD LOG

12-2 p.m.: BINGE EATING on oreo crumbles and heath bar pieces....when it's over, it's OVER.



11:30: THREE WORDS: BRIAN BOUGHT CHIPS

FIVE MORE WORDS: I ATE HALF THE BAG

that's it...I'm a slave to the chip.

I blame Brian.

oh yeah...I had three bites of blueberry cake.

I totally suck today, and it's only 11:39.

9:10 a.m.: post work out water

7:25 a.m.: yogurt with oatmeal

5:30 a.m.: XL Iced Coffee w/3 Equals

9/03/08 FOOD LOG

7:30 p.m.: 3 slices of cheese
5 slices of turkey pastrami
pickles
5 jolly ranchers

4:30 p.m.: 1 diet pepsi
five bites of Peanut Butter Cup cupcake (we changed the way we make our chocolate cake, and it's INCREDIBLE now)

12:30 p.m.: four licks of random Russian cake (from Ella at La Femma Salon next door)...not bad.

11:00 a.m.: turkey and cheese lean pocket
four bites of carrot cake (no buttercream)
diet pepsi

9:45 a.m.: 1/2 of an Apple Cider cupcake. OH MY GOD that is our best work yet. TOTALLY worth the calories.

7: 30 a.m.: light yogurt with oatmeal

5:30 a.m.: L Iced Coffee w 3/Equals

9/2/08 FOOD LOG

7:45 p.m.: Taco Bell...it was late. I was hungry.
2 Chx Soft Tacos Fresco Style
1 chips (4 licks of nacho cheese)
Diet Pepsi

4:30 p.m.: one water
one diet pepsi
one bite of cookie dough


11:45 a.m.: six cookies
1 1/2 ham and cheese lean pockets

10-11:10 a.m.: one grapefruit
one bite of carrot cake (no frosting)
one bite of choc. chip cookie

9:00 a.m.: 1 post workout water

7:30 a.m.: yogurt with oatmeal


5:30 a.m.: L Iced Coffee w/3 Equals

8/31/08 FOOD LOG

2:00 p.m.: 5 mini chocolate chip cookies...

1:28 p.m.: Cajun Chx and Shrimp Healthy Choice STEAMER (yum)
1 diet pepsi
OH YEAH: about 10 tiny handfuls of mini chocolate chips...WHILE the steamer was cooking...
12:00: multiple licks of pink lemonade buttercream (YUM!)

10:15 a.m.: Diet Pepsi
two handfuls of peanuts

8:15 a.m.: yogurt with oatmeal

7:30 a.m.: XL Iced Coffee w/3 Equals

8/30/08 FOOD LOG

3:30 p.m.: five bites of carrot cake with FROSTING...it's good....I'm fat....F

1:50 p.m.: Just when it couldn't get any worse: we're testing baking CARROT CAKE today...I've had one cupcake (no buttercream) so far....it was gooooooood, but could be bettah.

1:25 p.m.: GUM and gum only. :)

12:30-1:15: 1/2 a HUGE pepperoni pizza...BUT, I only ate crust...but it was covered in the grease of the pepperoni...it was GOOOOOOOD. Thanks, Allison!!
1 Diet Pepsi

11:15 a.m.: 1/2 salad with light italian (had sprinklings of cheese, green peppers, tomatoes, and olives)

10:00 a.m.: 1 diet pepsi

8:00 a.m.: yogurt with oatmeal mix-in


7:30 a.m.: XL Iced Coffee w/3 Equals

8/29/08 FOOD LOG

6:45 p.m.: four slices of turkey pastrami, two bites of chocolate cupcakes, couple handfuls of honey roasted peanuts
one bite of Peanut Butter and Honey cupcake (yep...still FANTASTIC)
one bite of Creamsicle cupcake (yep...still good, too)

6:20 p.m.: 4 mini chocolate chip cookies...I HEART cookies! and multiple licks of chocolate fudge ganache and ONE lick of vanilla buttercream....yum...

5:50 p.m.: Chx, broc, cheese Lean Pocket

4:30 p.m.: 1 water
1 diet pepsi
four bites of a Healthy Choice Steamer with pasta, chx, and broccoli...mainly just bites of pasta. DAMN, those things are GOOD...it's like I COOKED!

1:30 p.m.: 8 slices of turkey pastrami

11:00 a.m.: 1 grapefruit

9:00 a.m.: 1 water

7:30 a.m.: Oatmeal and Yogurt

5:45 a.m.: XL Iced Coffee w/3 Equals (still drinkin' it)

8/28/08 FOOD LOG

6:25 - 9:00 p.m.: chx thighs and legs, 7 jolly ranchers, 2 fudge bars, one fruit bar

4:00 p.m.: many mini chocolate chip cookies...I knew I didn't eat enough today; hence, I BINGED!! oh well....it's a shit day today.

12:45 p.m.: 1 grapefruit

11:30 a.m.: 1 diet pepsi

9:30 a.m.: 1 water

7:30 a.m.: yogurt with oatmeal mix-in

5:45 a.m.: XL Iced Coffee w/3 Equals

8/27/08 FOOD LOG

6:30 p.m.: popcorn
1 nectarine
1 Fresca

5:00 p.m.: Diet Pepsi

12:10 p.m.: Healthy Choice chx steamer
4 mini cookies
and some cookie dough.....DOH!

10:10 a.m.: 1 blueberry light yoplait
1 water
(BRIAN IS SHOPPING TODAY, SO WE SHOULD HAVE SOMETHING DECENT TO EAT TODAY... I SUCK AS A HOUSEWIFE THESE DAYS)

7:30 a.m.: 1 nectarine

5:45 a.m.: XL Iced Coffee w/3 Equals

8/26/08 FOOD LOG

7:30: 4 jolly ranchers
2 dum dum suckers (they have CHERRY COLA and MANGO now!)

6:30: two pieces of pizza with two crusts
four bites of APPLE CIDER cupcakes!!!
diet dr. pepper

12:30: two bites of cinnamon cake (WHY? read here)
12:00: blueberry light yogurt

7:30 a.m.: yogurt with oatmeal mix-in

5:30 a.m.: XL Iced Coffee w/3 Equals

8/24/08 FOOD LOG

pizza...pizza...and crazy bread...don't know what times...just LOTS 'O' BREAD yesterday.

11:30 a.m.: 7 licks of chocolate buttercream. Did I really count 7? no...but I just know that it was A LOT of buttercream...yum

8:00 a.m.: Yoplait light with oatmeal mix-in

5:30 a.m.: XL Iced Coffee w/3 Equals

8/23/08 FOOD LOG

7:30 p.m.: handful of Sun Chips (garden salsa)
5 jolly ranchers
cheese and crackers at home...and a Fresca (which I forgot has caffeine, so I was UP for a while last night...then crashed at 10).

12:30 p.m.: two chicken legs & two chicken thighs (some dipped in bbq sauce with no skin)
1 diet dr. pepper

10:15 a.m.: 1 Yoplait light with oatmeal mix-in
one grapefruit

7:30 a.m.: XL Iced Coffee w/3 Equals

8/22/08 FOOD LOG

6:30 p.m.: Healthy Choice steamer. REALLY GOOD and FILLING...and I had two more mini cookies.

3:30 p.m.: mini chocolate chips, many licks of chocolate fudge ganche, four tops of vanilla mini cupcakes...and two mini chocolate chip cookies (I'm a little upset....so I'm COMFORT licking)

1:30 a.m.: 4 pieces of pizza crust
1 chx breast with bbq sauce
1 handful of mini chocolate chips
1 diet pepsi
GUM

7:30 a.m.: 1 apple

5:30 a.m.: M Iced Coffee w/3 Equals

8/21/08 FOOD LOG

7:00 p.m.: popcorn and pretzels
1 Diet Coke

5:20 p.m.: 5 licks of buttercream...and some mini chocolate chips...obviously, I'm not having dinner tonight....

4:40 p.m.: lots of bites of a Butterfinger Blizzard....YUM, but WHAT happened to the pieces of candy bar??? There's NOTHING there anymore!

12:30 p.m.: popcorn, pretzels, two cheese slices, water, caramel corn mini rice cakes

11:45 a.m.: lean pocket

9:00 a.m.: 1 grapefruit

8:oo a.m.: 1 green apple

5:30 a.m.: XL Coffee w/3 Equals (still workin' on it)

8/20/08 FOOD LOG

7:00 p.m. - 9:30 p.m.: went crazy and had:
4 handfuls of Just Bunches cereal (which should be RENAMED "Just Bunches of FATTY CRACK" because it's THAT good...and FULL of useless calories)
2 Sugar Free Jellos with 2 squirts of light cool whip (I thought THIS would counter act the MASSIVE amounts of cereal calories...nope)
2 Philly Swirl fudge bars (I highly recommend the vanilla/caramel...just not after binging on all the other crap I ate BEFORE the fudge bar....)

Last night we made the FATAL mistake of grocery shopping at 7 (while STARVING)...then coming home and having LOTS of food to GRAZE on....

3:00 p.m.: 4 pieces of pizza (no cheese, just bread and sauce...like that matters).

1:00 p.m.: two pieces of Toblerone and four handfuls of Reese's Puffs Cereal.
1 Diet Pepsi

7:20 a.m.: Two Light Yoplaits with oatmeal mix-in: 310 cal.

5:45 a.m.: XL Iced Coffee w/3 Equals

8/19/08 FOOD LOG

7:30 p.m.:
So much for NOT eating after 6, but I was STARVING, so I had:
chicken salad (chicken breast, pickles, lettuce, and two slices of cheese)
10 jolly ranchers

5:45: 2 Chicken/Broc/Cheese Lean Pocket: 480 cal.

5:30 p.m.: 1 green apple

3:00 p.m.: 1 green apple
Diet Pepsi

still not that hungry from our crawl....I ate A LOT

12:30 p.m.: 2 Yoplait Light yogurts (I'm BARELY hungry after our Cupcake Crawl LA Day!)

6:00 a.m.: XL Iced Coffee with 3 Equals

8/17/08 FOOD LOG

4:00 p.m.: one bite of Cinnamon Toast cupcake...I want one last memory bite of my FAVORITE flavor before our big CUPCAKE ADVENTURE in LA!

2:30 p.m.: Post work-out water

1:00 p.m.: OOPS!! multiple pieces of vanilla cake and maple buttercream...and my stomach now HURTS

12:30 p.m.: Chicken salad with chicken, salad, and mandarin oranges
diet pepsi

8:15 a.m.: 1 1/2 bowls of Honey Nut Cheerios with skim milk

7:00 a.m.: XL Iced Coffee 3 Equals

8/16/08 FOOD LOG

7:00 p.m.: SO MUCH FOR NOT EATING AFTER 6...LOTS of saltine crackers and three pieces of Havarti cheese
7 Jolly Ranchers...

5:00 p.m.: water after my workout...which has KNOCKED ME OUT...and the cupcake we tested was WAY too sweet. too bad...

3:00 p.m.: test baking...you know what THAT means. I've eaten some cupcakes...tested some cake batter...and some TOFFEE (hint, hint): TOO MANY cal.

my ass is growing by the SECOND. I will work out today, though. Do you think ten minutes can handle today's intake?? me either...


1:15 p.m.: Chicken Fajita Lean Pocket: 240 cal.

10:00 a.m.: I don't know what the F just happened, but I just consumed:
5 mini chocolate chip cookies
2 handfuls of peanuts
and MANY MANY licks of buttercream...and some bites of cake.

I SUCK...and my stomach is making me pay for it right now...

8:10 a.m.: 2 Yoplait Lights with oatmeal mix-in: 310 cal. (WAY more filling...I feel like I've actually EATEN something)

7:30 a.m.: M Iced Coffee with 2 Equals (I left my XL cup at Retro!)

I actually DID stop eating before 7 yesterday! It's a MIRACLE!! And guess what? I feel better. I'm gonna do it again today!

8/15/08 FOOD LOG

6:28 p.m.: GUM
all done for the day (it's a new thing we're trying...no eating after 6...just water or diet soda).
I officially tried it yesterday, but it didn't quite kick in...I binged at 7:00 (oh well...old habits die hard).

The candy is now out of my house, so I should do "better" when I get home.

6:15 p.m. (tried to stop eating by six...but customers came in...so:):1 bbq chicken breast (no skin)
5 steak fries
bbq dipping sauce (all from Sassy Sal's BBQ)

5:20 p.m.: now I just ate four mini chocolate chip cookies. It's been a day, and I'm trying to stop eating by 6 p.m.

3-5: little bit a this...little bit o' that...and a small, WAXY cherry dipped cone from DQ (very disappointing. Butterscotch is MUCH better, yet...I still finished it).

1:05 p.m.: 1 grapefruit: 100 cal.

11:05 a.m.: Chicken Fajita Lean Pocket: 240 cal.
Diet Pepsi

9:30 a.m.: 1 cup Reese's Puff cereal: 180 cal.

8:48: 1 Yoplait Light peach yogurt: 100 cal.

5:45 a.m.: XL Iced Coffee w/ 3 Equals

8/14/08 FOOD LOG

7:00 p.m.: I tried to stop eating at 6, but I literally felt my blood sugar DROP, so I stuffed my face with: SKITTLES, STARBURST, POPCORN, and CEREAL...

don't ask why these things are still in my house....

6:00 p.m.: more chicken salad
1 diet pepsi



4:50 p.m.: 1 apple: 100 cal.

4:08 p.m.: 1/2 Easy Mac and Cheese...YUM: 140 cal.
1 Diet Pepsi
2 almond biscotti: 100 cal. (I have now finished the package. YEAH ME!) *SARCASM ALERT*


1:20 p.m.: 3 almond biscottis: 150 cal.
1 diet pepsi

11:30 a.m.: salad with pieces of chicken, pickles, TINY amount of cheese (like two slivers), and Neman's Own LIGHT BALSAMIC VINEGAR DRESSING (THE BEST!!): ??? cal. (it's low, I know that.


10:13 a.m.: 1 grapefruit: 100 cal.

8:35 a.m.: 1 Diet Pepsi

7:25 a.m.: 2 Light Yoplaits with oatmeal mix-in: 310 cal.

6:05 a.m.: XL Iced Coffee with 3 Equals

8/13/08 FOOD LOG

4:36 p.m.: one entire cupcake (ok...bites that probably added up to an entire cupcake, if not MORE)...gotta test 'em, so no guilt. PROMISE!

3:06 p.m.: two pieces of a secret cupcake....F it day
2:35 p.m.: two bites of a SECRET cupcake and two bites of almond biscotti

1:50 p.m.: two triangle of TOBLERONE chocolate bar: 50 cal. Another HUGE hint at what we're test baking today...

1:40 p.m.: just one more almond toast: 50 cal. (they're good!!) damn it.

1:39 p.m.: four almond toasts: 200 cal. YUM YUM and a HUGE hint to what I'm test baking today....

11:30 a.m.: 5 slices of turkey pastrami (found at Sams Club, and quite possibly THE best lunch meat EVER)
1 package of light popcorn
1 Sprite Zero
1 bottle of water (after yet another HELL WORKOUT...hell as is good).

8:00 a.m.: 2 Yoplait light yogurts with oatmeal mix-in

I'm trying something new: eating MORE in the morning. I think it'll help me be less ravenous in the later hours.
OH! I watched Flipping Out reunion show yesterday, and Jeff said he doesn't eat after 6, I'm considering that...

6:00 a.m.: XL Iced Coffee with 3 Equals

8/12/08 FOOD LOG

The rest of the day can be described in two words: CANDY and CUPCAKES (no buttercream)

1:36 p.m.: more cupcake tops....I suck.

12:15 p.m.: Chicken and broccoli Lean Pocket: 240 cal.

ok...I also had to "TEST" other chocolate cupcakes...probably 4-5...F...back to my old tricks.


11:30 a.m.: one chocolate cupcake...I left them in the oven too long...had to test if they were ok...I can't taste anything bad...but now I'm letting them cool completely before I give the final verdict.

9:15: 1 green apple: 100 cal.

7:59 a.m.: Yoplait Light peach yogurt with oatmeal mix-in: 210 cal.



6 a.m.: L Iced Coffe with 3 Equals

I've done two days in a row of Ten-Minute Trainer, but LITERALLY only ten minutes each workout. I thought I could "stack" the workouts like they said, but if I did that, I'd be DEAD. It's that hard. I'm SOOOOOOO sore....and it's only Day 3. Luckily, today is YOGA FLEX day, so I hope it won't be too intense; otherwise, I won't be able to move ANY MUSCLE IN MY BODY!

ummm...terrible eating on Monday. Our day off is ALWAYS a bad snacking day. It's what the Haskells do: SNACK.

8/10/08 FOOD LOG

4:30 p.m.: Yoplait Light yogurt with oatmeal mix-in: 210 cal.
LOOK AT ME CHOOSING A HEALTHY SNACK!!!!

OH: I did the Ten-Minute Trainer workout...it TOTALLY kicked my A**!!!!!! I was sore 5 minutes after I finished....whoa. I can't wait to do it again tomorrow (by the way, I only did 10 minutes, any more and I might have DIED...I have NO cardio-shape at ALL!)

4:00 p.m.: handful of Oreo pieces: ?? cal.

We are SLAMMED busy...and now I'm starving.

12:00 p.m.: Turkey sandwich from Churro Station (lettuce, tomato, purple onion, pickles, wheat bread)
Couple of bites of CEVICHE (shrimp with pico de gallo): YUM YUM calories.
1 diet dr. pepper


10:00 a.m.: 1 grapefruit: 100 cal.
1/2 Diet Pepsi

It just hit me that it is OFFICIALLY two weeks since I started doing this, and my eating has only gotten worse...interesting.

7:30 a.m.: Dannon Active Yogurt with oatmeal mix-in: 170 cal.

6:20 a.m.: XL Iced Coffee with 3 Equals

8/09/08 FOOD LOG

7:30 p.m.: a CPK personal margarita pizza: 420 cal.
1 nectarine: 60 cal.

I wasn't even hungry, yet I ate more...
I see the pattern. I know what to do...BREAK THE ROUTINE. I get home and go STRAIGHT to the kitchen for food I don't even want.

5:10 p.m.: more chicken meat (this time white meat).
I sound like I'm about to say more healthy stuff, right?? But:

I ATE MOTHER F'N CUPCAKES. My God. I had two tops of Glazed Donut.
You know, I say that Cinnamon Toast is my favorite...but, I think my heart belongs to GLAZED. It's the one I ALWAYS go for...I love that it gets hard on the top, and you can pick little bites of cake off and eat them separately. I'm weird like that...

I can't believe I ate them, AND I DIDN'T do the new work out...I just didn't have time to go home yet. Brian's off on a delivery until who knows when, so it's just me and the cupcakes...and they're staring at me.

What's a girl who obviously doesn't REALLY want to change going to do???

I'm having gum now...

11:00 a.m.: thigh and leg meat from roasted chicken from Albertson's (no skin): ?? cal.
sugar snap peas, broccoli, carrots raw
1 diet pepsi

AND THEN BRIAN GOT A MF'n FREE CHURRO, and it all went down hill from there....
First, I had to fill the F'n churro with OUR buttercream (hey, doesn't it sound incredible?? Well, it was).
Then, it's been lick of buttercream after lick of buttercream after lick of buttercream...and I have the stomach ache to prove it.

I don't know why I get RAVENOUSLY hungry when we're busy (I had to make over 120 mini cupcakes and other baby shower orders...). I am a total STRESS EATER, and when it's right there in my face....you know what happens.

I WILL do my new workout today (if not tonight). We're actually BUSY today, so I don' t know if I'll get a chance to sneak out.

9:30 a.m.: 1 green apple: 100 cal.

7:45 a.m.: 2 biscuits of shredded wheat and skim milk: 250 cal.
L Iced coffee with 3 Equals (this time REALLY from Starbucks!)...still working on that.


I'm starting my SECRET WEIGHT WEAPON TODAY! My body won't know what HIT IT!!

Here's a hint (ok, it's a REALLY BIG HINT:

8/08/08 FOOD LOG

7:45 p.m.: 1 1/2 fruit bars: 150 cal. YUM and cool...

6:15 p.m.: TINY lick of buttercream...and I REALLY mean tiny....
We're slow...and you know what that means: lots of time to LOOK at cupcakes and WISH they were in my tummy.

5:00 p.m.: BAGFUL of mini churros....DAMN the CHURRO STATION!! They're good...fresh, and FREE today only!

3:34 p.m.: two handfuls of Oreo pieces...because they're not THAT bad for me, right?

3:10 p.m.: One Diet Pepsi
2 chicken soft tacos from Chipotle (chicken, lettuce, pico de gallo only) YUM YUM: 400 cal.

2:30 p.m.: One bite of a Churro Station tuna sandwich
One bite of a Churro Station churro
One bite of a Churro Station chicken sandwich
(free samples from 2-6 today only!!)

11:58 a.m.: 2 handfuls of walnuts: 300 cal.
YIKES! I won't be snacking on those anymore...didn't know the calories until AFTER I ate them, and I checked it on Calorie King.com

11:30 a.m.: Chicken Fajita Lean Pocket: 240 cal.
1 Diet Pepsi

11:20 a.m.: 1 nectarine: 60 ish cal.?

7:45 a.m.: 1 green apple: 100 cal.
Yoplait Light peach yogurt with instant oatmeal mix-in: 210 cal.


5:45 a.m.: XL Iced Coffee with 3 Equals (ARE YOU SENSING THE PATTERN YET?)

8/7/08 FOOD LOG

6:30 p.m.: Quizno's Oven-roasted Chicken Salad...and yes, I had the bread. It was flat bread. It was good. I did take the cheese off the salad.
1/2 Large Diet Pepsi
1/2 a package of Jolly Rancher gummies...WE WERE AT THE MOVIES!

Aren't I good with coming up with excuses??? It's my specialty!

5:00 p.m.: Just had a sampling of Churro Station's churro selection (they're opening this weekend, and they're our next door neighbor)...OF COURSE I had to try them!!! YUM...I LOVE cinnamon and sugar. Filled churros? They're ok. Strawberry was the best. I also tried chocolate-filled and apple-filled.

I'm over calories today...I'm over a lot of things today...

4:00 p.m.: one lick of cake batter...BUT, I'm not mad. Bri's trying a new recipe...I HAD to taste it.
ok...maybe it's be 25 licks...And I'm still licking and tasting....F it.

12:30-NOW: Complete breakdown YET AGAIN.
We've been baking like crazy, and all I can think about is how hungry I am....but I shouldn't be. LOOK WHAT I'VE EATEN down there ALREADY!!

BUT: I have to be F'n HONEST, so here's what I just F'N ATE:
2 tops of Glazed Donut
2 tops of plain vanilla cake
1 FULL chocolate chip cupcake

No, not a drip of buttercream...just f*cking cake.

I am so..........f'd.
I'm embarrassed...yet still eat.
I'm ashamed...and still eat.
I write it down and STILL EAT. My God....what will it take???? How many pairs of jeans can I NOT FIT INTO before I fucking change???????

lots of swearing today, folks....

11:59 a.m.: 1 chicken fajita lean pocket: 240 cal.
handful of walnuts: ??? cal.
OH yeah...and a couple of licks of M*THER F*CKING cake batter....GOD!

10:44 a.m.: 1 grapefruit: 100 cal.

9:47 a.m.: one Diet Pepsi

7:50 a.m.: Light Yoplait blueberry yogurt with plain instant oatmeal mix-in: 210 cal.
one green apple: 100 cal.
I'm actually FULL right now...

5:40 a.m.: XL Iced Coffee with 3 Equals

I write that sentence every morning HOPING today will be different with my eating...yet KNOWING that the pattern has already started.

CHANGE SUCKS.

I had a HORRIBLE day yesterday. I was BOREDOM EATING, COMFORT EATING, and just plain EATING all f*cking day....and now I have the TOO-TIGHT jeans to prove it.

I don't know why this is so hard...but, today is ANOTHER day, right?????

8/6/08 FOOD LOG

7:00 p.m.: crackers, tuna, pickles, and bruschetta...in other words: SALT WITH SALT ON SALT DIPPED IN SALT.
and two fruit bars...
I don't even want to put the calories. I know it's bad...especially since my fucking jeans are so tight, and my fingers are like sausages now....F*ck..

All I can think about is CANDY CANDY CANDY...oh, and CUPCAKES. F, this is hard today. OBVIOUSLY, I'm a comfort eater....

4:10 p.m.: F. I just licked butterscotch ganache...and by licked I mean I had A LOT

3:46 p.m.: another Ham and Cheese Whole Grain Lean Pocket: 240 cal.

2:30 p.m.: 1 grapefruit (peeled like an orange from Sams Club. They are SO sweet this year!): 100 cal.


1:30: Diet Dr. Pepper Double Big Gulp (still working on it...)

11:30 a.m.: two handfuls of Baked Cheetos: 260 cal.
1 Ham and Cheese Lean Pocket: 240 cal.
1 diet pepsi
FYI: ALL I WANT TO EAT IS CUPCAKES TODAY...I'm not feelin' so great.


7:20 a.m.: 1 nectarine: 100 cal
Yoplait Light peach yogurt with oatmeal mix-in: 210 cal.

5:50 a.m.: XL Iced coffee with 3 Equals

8/5/08 FOOD LOG

7:20 p.m.: 14 Milton baked crakers YUM: 140 cal.
Lots of pre-cooked, pre-cut chicken breasts dipped in BBQ: 300 cal.
1 water
1 all-fruit frozen bar: 100 cal. (it was so good, I should have just had THAT instead of the other dinner...)


6:00 p.m.: 1 bite of a SPRINKLES cupcake!! (I'll blog about THAT over HERE later)

5:30 p.m.: 2 nectarines: 200 cal.


3 ish p.m.: 1/2 chicken salad 200 cal.
1/2 Diet Pepsi


11:20 a.m.: 1/2 water...still working on it. I ate SO much yesterday, I'm really NOT hungry still. I told you it was a DAY of eating!!!

9:30 a.m.: Yoplait Light Peach yogurt with instant oatmeal mix-in: 210 cal.

6:00 a.m.: XL iced coffee with 3 Equals

COUNTDOWN TO OCTOBER 2, 2008:

I don't have access to the internet on Mondays; hence, I will not be blogging what I eat those days...BUT, I have to let you know that yesterday was a complete BLOW-OUT in terms of eating. I literally have not consumed that many BREAD PRODUCTS in one day in YEARS...and today, I am paying for it. (I joked with Brian about me probably getting a YEAST INFECTION due to the amount of yeast I consumed yesterday).

(FYI: It was mainly PIZZA AND DONUTS...and Skittles....MY "friends" that are now my "foes.")

Let me just tell you that it was MY LAST DAY. I've FUCKING HAD IT with feeling like SHIT about myself. (I purposely DID NOT censor my swearing because I'm so DONE with myself over-indulging and feeling sorry for myself).

So, here's the deal:
My 33rd birthday is coming in October....this one isn't that big of a deal to me (when I turned 30, I had KIND OF an issue....), but this year I want one thing: TO BE IN-FUCKING-SHAPE. I don't want to be winded while walking. I don't want to feel my belly BOUNCE when I move. I don't want to FEEL my clothes digging into my stomach...

I HATE BEING GRAPHIC, BUT IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO DISGUST MYSELF INTO NOT BEING THIS WAY ANY FUCKING MORE.

I'm completely disgusted with ME...so, I'm changing ME...

By Oct. 2, 2008, I will be a NEW ME. No more bitching (at least about my weight) and no more feeling sorry for POOR ME. I'm DOING something about it.

You heard it hear first, and now I will continue to food blog and fill you in on what I'm doing on a HOURLY basis to change my body into something I LOVE instead of LOATHE.

Here we go....

8/3/08 FOOD LOG

The rest of the day was CHIPS, CHIPS, and MORE CHIPS...
then we went to ESPN Zone, and it was french fries, chips, and more FRENCH FRIES...
I went COMPLETELY overboard because I was on our one-day vacay....and now it's over.

12:18 p.m.: roasted chicken thigh and leg
handfuls of baked cheetos and baked sour cream and cheddar lays


11:30 a.m.: 1 Diet Pepsi

10:05 a.m.: 1 grapefruit: 100 cal.

8:01 a.m.: Dannon Active blueberry yogurt with oatmeal mixed in: 170 cal.


7:00 a.m.: XL iced coffee with three Equals

Yesterday wasn't SO bad...I'm learning I eat too little too early, then go crazy at night. I also don't drink enough water and eat too much salt. LIKE I DIDN'T KNOW THAT ALREADY.

Today is another day.....

8/2/08 FOOD LOG

7:20 p.m.: microwave Light Popcorn: a whole, damn bag.
1 water

6:44 p.m.: Ham and Cheese Lean Pocket: 240 cal.

4:23 p.m.: 3 chunks of watermelon...YUM YUM and cold.

4:10 p.m.: 1 grapefruit: 100 cal.

3:41 p.m.: 1 diet pepsi

1:00 p.m.: two chicken soft tacos FRESCO style: 400 cal.
1/2 of a diet pepsi

11:55 a.m.: 1 grapefruit: 100 cal.

9:30 a.m.: Peach Yoplait light with Instant Oatmeal mixed in: 210 cal.
Venti Iced Americano with 2 Equals from Starbucks (still suckin' on that)

6:30 a.m.: XL Ice Coffee with three Equals


I hope for a better day today...yesterday was complete mental chaos; hence, my diet was "in the shit" (as Gordon Ramsay would say).
I'm reading his book, and ironically, I came across a paragraph today that said the one thing he hated most was a FAT CHEF.

F!!! If THAT can't motivate me, I don't know what can.

8/1/08 FOOD LOG

7:20 p.m.: Total "I Don't Give an F What I'm Eating" night...and I'm totally embarrassed.
1/2 chicken and fried rice meal: 400 cal
Two jellos with cool whip: 200 cal (I like LOTS of Cool Whip)
1 water

5:30-5:44 p.m.: COMPLETE BREAKDOWN, so forget calorie content....I just F'd IT ROYALLY.
multiple handfuls of honey roasted peanuts
three tops of vanilla cupcakes
one ENTIRE chocolate chip cupcake (damn, that was EVEN BETTER than I remember)
three handfuls of butterscotch chips
multiple licks of butterscotch ganache
1 bottle of water
1 stick of Extra bubblegum to STOP THE MADNESS!!!!

I am so embarrassed, but I'm still writing this. I don't know why...I am at a loss today.

4:25 p.m.: 1 grapefruit: 100 cal.

1:01 p.m.: Extra bubblegum: 5 cal.

12:45: handfuls of Burger King chips: 300 cal.

*FULL DISCLOSURE: In order to maintain my "Queen of all things SNACK" I must be on top of ALL the new snacks that I come across. I found these babies at Walgreens (a GREAT place for finding weird food, by the way). The Flame Broiled was my favorite of the two. I'm not a big ketchup fan, but the Ketchup and Fries DID taste like ketchup and fries...good, if you're into that.

12:22 p.m.: Ham and Cheese whole grain Lean Pocket: 240 cal.

11:30 a.m.: 1 Diet Orange Soda: 0 cal.
4 baby carrots: 35 cal.

9:01 a.m.: 1 apple: 100 cal.
1 Yoplait light strawberry yogurt: 100 cal.


Happy August!

5:30 a.m.: XL Iced Coffee with 3 Equals

7/31/08 FOOD LOG

7:20: Chicken panini: 400 cal.
2 cups of Honey Nut FAKE Cheerios (we're broke, remember?): 200 cal.
1 water: 0 cal.

4:20 p.m.: two globs of cookie dough (YES, COOKIE DOUGH. Why do I have cookie dough in the bakery??? You'll find out tomorrow): ??? cal...I know it's a lot, but I HAD to make sure it tasted correctly, right????
1 Diet Pepsi: 0 cal. (I think I need to drink more water....)
3:00 p.m.(ish): Diet Orange Soda: 0 cal


12:20: Garlic Chicken Lean Pocket: 270 cal
MULTIPLE handfuls of honey roasted peanuts: F it cal.

11:43: 1 Diet Pepsi
11:00: 1 apple: 100ISH cal.

9:32 a.m.: 1 bite of Hawaii Night Sky cupcake
Brian said he did the buttercream wrong...he was right! Too much butter!! DO OVER!

7:34 a.m.: 1 Yoplait Light strawberry yogurt: 100 cal
mixed with one packet of plain instant oatmeal: 110 cal.
(don't laugh, it tastes good and has LOTS of texture)

5:45 a.m.: Extra Large Iced Coffee with 3 Equals

7/30/08 FOOD LOG

8:00 p.m.: 1 chicken breast: 150 cal.
1 diet coke caffeine free

6:42: MANY pieces of pizza crust...some with a little cheese, but mainly sauce and crust: ??? cal.
It's just one of THOSE days....and I was F'n hungry and F'n exhausted.

3:45 p.m.: UMMMMM....I've had quite a few licks of buttercream and one top of a Sprinkled Donut cupcake....yikes.
3:00 p.m.:
Two licks of pink lemonade buttercream: ??? cal....once I start, it doesn't stop. Quality control, right???

12:30 p.m.:
1 cup of Strawberry Shredded Wheat: 200 cal.
12:10 p.m.:
THREE licks of buttercream...TANG buttercream: ??? cal.
Need I say more? and YES, it was worth it. DAMN if it's not the BEST F'N frosting we make.

9:00 a.m.:
1 whole HUGE grapefruit that I'm still snacking on, and it's really 9:14: 100 cal.

7:30 a.m.:
1 blueberry yoplait light yogurt: 100 cal
mixed with 1 packet oatmeal: 110 cal


Yesterday was HORRIFYING....I KNEW I had to write it down, and I STILL ate it. WOW. Maybe better luck today?????
RIIIIIght...'cause THAT'S my track record so far....
Let's see how I do today:

5:45 a.m. Iced Coffee with three Equals

7/29/08 FOOD LOG

5-8 p.m.: BINGE SNACKING:
1 chicken breast
1 cup whole wheat pasta salad with a hint of Italian dressing
a couple of tomato and carrot pieces
I WAS TRYING TO BE "GOOD" BUT then I found:
ice cream
magic shell
2 diet orange sodas

NEVER KEEP A GIRL HOME ALONE WITH MAGIC SHELL and PLENTY OF ICE CREAM.

this sucks.

3:10 p.m. Diet Orange Soda: 0 cal.
1 piece Trident fruit gum: 5 cal.

1:56 p.m.:
Lean Cuisine SW Panini: 330 cal.
Bird's Eye Steamed Veggies: 100 cal.
Diet Pepsi: 0 cal.
1 piece Extra gum: 5 cal.

It's now 12:10 p.m.
1 green apple: 150 cal.? who knows...but it's crunchy, cold, and good.

It's 8:21 a.m.:

1 cup Strawberry Shredded Wheat cereal with NO MILK: 200 cal. (My GOD this is GOOD CEREAL!)
1 HUGE Iced Coffee with three Equals: 25 cal.?

1 Diet Pepsi: 0 cal.

Listen to Your Mom

My mom said that she read that people who have food journals are thinner than those who don't. I will not tell her that I've heard it before. I'm ACTUALLY going to give her some credit, and I'm ACTUALLY going to follow some of her advice. (MOM! Get off the ground. It's ok! I'm still the SAME(ish) Kari!)

There's a first time for everything...and here's my first day of BLOGGING what I eat.
The plan is to update the blog after I finish a meal, snack, drink, or put something in my mouth and SWALLOW. (Does licking count? I don't know yet....YES! Of course it counts! See how I'm ALREADY trying to trick myself???)

No more lying to myself about what I eat. No more FORGETTING about what goes into the BELLY....It'll all be here, in BLACK AND WHITE for ALL of you to judge...and for me to ACTUALLY be accountable for.

Wow....I'm going to take responsibility for SOMETHING for the first time ever.

Join me? Won't you?

Until Next Bite....